Objectively speaking, Lily doesn’t decide on the marriage that day exactly. But the film is so lacking in building the couple’s romance and chemistry that it feels like a same-day verdict. What co-writers Parker and Daniel Pipski instead do is use Lily’s storyline as an excuse to bring Clooney’s David and Roberts’ Georgia together, Lily’s parents and each other’s exes that hate one another. But the duty calls and the duo embarks on a mission to Bali to end this ridiculous fling as a pair of responsible parents.

In fairness, “Ticket to Paradise” earns some goodwill during the David-Georgia scenes and gives the two some sharp moments of squabble, several of which the film’s trailer unfortunately spoils. But the ex-couple’s sexual tension and natural ease at hating each other earn the admission price, even when the momentary bliss we feel in their presence fades away with Lily and Gede reappearing frequently and a present-day romantic interest of Georgia (played by Lucas Bravo) taking up too much time. It would have been one thing if “Ticket to Paradise” spent some real time thinking through the young fiancés, helping us understand what makes them interesting and right for each other. But in the aftermath, you’ll be shocked at how little you’ll learn about either, apart from their vast affection for the locale they often call beautiful. Well, of course, it is beautiful because what we see is mostly a luxury resort, a fact that makes the “I understand why she likes it here” quote from the parents painfully funny when they show empathy towards Lily’s decision to stay. Doesn’t everyone like a luxury resort?

We do get to see some things outside of the resort, like the lovely grounds of Gede’s supportive family and a pair of touristic sites. But “Ticket to Paradise” seems oddly disinterested in any family dynamics or anything that has to do with Bali, save for a couple of nuptial traditions cartoonishly represented. In the world of this film, everything is background noise and an item on a list of excuses to bring George and Julia together. The saddest casualty of this disposition is Wren. But with her P.J. Soles vibes, Billie Lourd still runs with it enchantingly, committing the cardinal sin of being far more memorable than the bride herself. Perhaps in revenge, the film periodically forgets about her existence.

Bless the old-school stars Roberts and Clooney for elevating this lackluster mélange and in certain instances, even making you forget about the non-sensical film that surrounds them. But that’s hardly enough, especially if you are hoping for a homecoming for the rom-coms of yore.

In theaters today.

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