Look, if anyone understands how nuanced the English language is, it’s Stephen King. One vowel out of place, and bam — you’ve got yourself a snickering writer King could run circles around tapping away on a lone keyboard in a room filled with King’s very own books. But, hey, the words have been uttered, so here we are. Apologies in advance, Stevie. 

During an interview on Good Morning America in promotion of his new novel Holly (you may or may not hate it), King was asked an innocent question by GMA anchor Michael Strahan. In turn, King delivered an innocent answer, but a slip of the tongue produced, well, you know. 

“Do you ever run out of ideas?” Strahan asked, marveling at King’s over 65 published books. 

“No, I just like to stay one ahead. And if I can stay one ahead, I’m a happy gay — a happy guy,” he corrected himself. 

You might as well have teleported me back to math class where Tommy the booger-eater farted louder than a trombone for how enormous a laugh King’s gaffe elicited from me. Please say I’m not alone, I beg of you.  

All right, laughs over, put yourselves back together. Look, I’m not about to use this slip-up as an opportunity to drudge up King’s arguably problematic history of writing gay characters into his novels. As a creative who lets his not-so-nice characters move through his fingertips, King should not be held liable for the things his fictional friends say or do, but you’re talking to a fellow writer, so that opinion is going to come out biased no matter which way you spin it. 

The point of the interview was to promote Holly, which any King fan should go out and buy. It’s just as gorey and heartfelt as any constant reader could hope for (a combination only King can mix without bitter results). It follows the familiar character of Holly Gibney from King’s Mr. Mercedes trilogy and The Outsider. Nowadays, Holly is a private investigator, but instead of just dealing with the gruesome case of cannabilism — which King advises you not to read on a full stomach — she’s also left dealing with the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, which plays as big a part in the novel as any supporting character. 

King closed out his GMA interview reminiscing on the imminent 50th anniversary of Carrie, which he reminds people would not have come to fruition were it not for his wife’s foresight and motivation. King and Tabitha have been married for over half a century at this point. In fact, the wedding ring he wears during the interview is the same $7.50 ring he bought with Tabitha all those years ago before he became one of the world’s richest authors. 

King recalls telling Tabitha on the ride home from buying the rings, “Gee, I hope these rings don’t turn our fingers green,” to which she lovingly replied, “I hope we’re married long enough to find out.”

Holly is currently available for purchase wherever books are sold. Go buy yourself a copy and make King a happy guy.

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